Note: This post came out last year and is probably one of the worst things I’ve ever written. But it is entertaining, disturbing and maybe a nice departure from the treacle and dreck that you’re being assaulted with at this time of the year. So, apologies for a reprint, but here goes…
Beneath the surface of our most cherished customs lurk mythic monsters from our pagan past. Santa, for example, is an anagram for Satan. His other name St. Nick, hearkens back to the medieval nickname for the devil, Ol’ Nick. And his plate of cookies, placed not far from the Christmas tree, represents the winter solstice offerings made in the dark days of our pagan ancestors.
Even the days of the week in English echo hauntingly our pagan roots. Sunday and Monday are dedicated to the sun and the moon. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday commemorate Tul, Odin, Thor and Frida, all of them misty figures from Scandinavian myth. Even Saturday venerates Saturn, the Roman god of agriculture.
This week we celebrate St. Valentine’s Day. Nowadays, Valentine’s Day is an over-the-top celebration of romantic love. Most of us probably connect February 14 with a vague figure called St. Valentine but beyond that we have no idea who he was. The day celebrates any of several saints by the name of Valentine. His name is derived from the Latin word for “brave” (as in “valiant”). Some think that St. Valentine’s Day is associated with the Roman celebration of the feast of Lupercalis on February 15 in which blood-smeared young men ran half-naked through town flogging bystanders with goatskin whips called februa.
If you are in love with this day dedicated to love, I invite you to stop reading right now and head off somewhere else in cyberspace because for the next few minutes I’d like to lift the cover on that heart-shaped box of chocolates and look at the dark secrets and symbols which St. Valentine’s Day represents.
What is the significance of a man giving a woman a crimson box shaped like a heart? Is this a harmless token of love and affection? The red heart is suggestive of the days of human sacrifice. When a man gives a woman a box of chocolates he is metaphorically acting like an Aztec priest turning his obsidian blade on himself and symbolically “tearing his heart out” and handing the blood-red object to the woman who is his goddess. She then takes the offering and devours it as a pleasing sacrifice.
Like the man in the Percy Sledge song, “When A Man Loves A Woman,” the male supplicant will do whatever pleases her, he’ll even “stand out in the rain if she says that’s the thing to do.” When you look at it that way you have to wonder about such a relationship, but Valentine’s Day is a celebration of just that kind of impulse. Men offer chocolate, roses, expensive dinners and precious jewels. Anything to please the deified female. Our modern culture is so saturated with this theme that it is hard for a husband to opt out of these tokens even if he sees the proverbial box of chocolates as being full of rubbish. Such sentiments are rubbish not because there is anything wrong with the desire to give something nice to the one you love but because we can confuse such gestures with genuine love. A woman’s heart is hungry for more than chocolate.
Centuries before Valentine was martyred in Rome, another saint by the name of Peter wrote some wise words for husbands on how to keep their wives happy. Peter was a married man. We know this because one of Jesus’ first miracles was to heal Peter’s mother-in-law. Peter’s wife must have been relieved because her mother could now help take care of the men who had just shown up at her house hoping for dinner. Every piece of evidence points to the fact that Peter was a big strong guy with a certain lack of refinement and a tendency for lashing out physically and verbally. We can only imagine how this caused problems in his marriage. Thankfully his experience as a follower of Jesus seems to have had a beneficial effect on his relationships with others. His words recorded in 1 Peter 3:7 are rich with meaning:
Similarly, men should carefully consider the way they live at home with their wives. On one hand they should protect their wives like vessels that are more fragile than men but at the same time they should respect their wives as people who are also going to inherit the gift of life. In this way a man’s prayers will not go unanswered.
(1 Peter 3:7, my translation)
Based on this passage, I’d like to offer a biblical version of “Five things your wife really wants for Valentine’s Day.”
Five things your wife really wants for Valentine’s Day.
1. She doesn’t want to be alone.
The word for “live at home with” in Peter’s letter literally means “be together in the same house” and this is the first thing that a woman wants: She wants you. She wants a house. And she wants to be with you in that house. Being with you is more important than any gift you give her. Especially if you make dinner.
2. She wants to be protected.
She needs your care. Your wife needs a secure environment where you are there to protect her and help her out. In the modern world, women can survive pretty well by themselves. They have a career to provide income, modern appliances to handle the domestic drudgery. But even so, a husband provides security and protection, both physically and emotionally.
3. She wants to be respected.
The revolutionary message that Jesus Christ brought to earth is that everyone is equal in the eyes of God. Characteristics like age, race and gender are inconsequential in the kingdom of God. So, try to remember that your wife is just as valuable to God as you are. Try to remember that she was created to fulfill her destiny on this planet just like you were. Respect your wife because she has been greatly honored by God: he has adopted her as his child.
So those are three important points that Peter makes in this letter about what our wives want. But, wait! Didn’t I say five points? Well, I don’t know what your reaction is to the misguided origins of the Valentine’s Day celebration, but as for me I’d be an idiot not to give my wife chocolate and flowers on Valentine’s Day. What are numbers 4 and 5 on your wife’s list?
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