In honor of my son’s birthday, I offer this alternative to the Random Kitten Generator
The Random Cat Generator
Cats are lovely. Cats are nice.
Cats bite the heads off little mice.
Cats are cuddly. They sleep and purr.
And cover the house in sneezy fur.
They spend the night out on the prowl.
Cats shred the couch and hiss and yowl.
But since you want a kitten,
And don’t mind being bitten.
Put some milk in a dish.
We grant you your wish.
The trouble with kittens–
They grow to be cats.
The trouble with babies–
They grow to be brats.
No, I’m not talking about your son
This is a poem I made up one day during those hard days of my distant past. And in the end, all my children turned out like those of Lake Wobegon–above average.
The end.