I did not intend to be the nerd of the family. But all my sisters and my brother are cooler than I am. When I went to my 20-year high school reunion, no one remembered me as a sharp dresser (I was) or a jock (I tried) or the smartest kid in the school (I definitely was). Instead they all remembered me as a computer nerd. I left early. How depressing.
Still, I’m in good company. Nerds rule the world. The richest man in the world is a nerd. Nine out of ten new billionaires are nerds. Nerds have convinced us that Facebook is hip. And that owning an Apple is cool. And that wearing chunky glasses is chic. So look out you normal people. Nerds got Obama elected. Nerds write stuff like this that people like you read.
The Lingamish List: You might be a nerd if…
- You know what USB stands for.
- You are able to synchronize the calendar on your computer and your cell phone.
- You know the name of the founder of Facebook.
- You web browse while watching TV.
- You know that Linux isn’t the name of Charlie Brown’s friend.
- You’re reading my blog.
- You know how to set up a home network.
- People ask you for help when they’re having trouble with their computer.
- You have a home theater and you’ve organized and labeled your CDs and DVDs.
- [Your suggestion here.]
How to calculate your score:
Give yourself one point for every affirmative answer to the above list.
1-3 You are a liar.
4-6 You are normally nerdy. Enough to function in a nerdy age. Good job.
7-8 You are really nerdy. And it doesn’t bother you. You think being nerdy is kinda cool. You actually added up your points on this test.
9-10 You are nerdy and you don’t know it. When people visualize a nerd, it’s your face they see. Nerds think you’re a nerd.
P.S. Feel free to suggest something for #10. (If you do, you’re a nerd.)
Seven! (You have to hear this as spoken by Len Goodman…)
#10, You wear “nerd pants” like the president who nerds got elected:
http://blogs.suntimes.com/sweet/2009/07/obama_on_his_dad_nerd_or_frump.html
Thanks for the first list. I must say, there’s a bit of a heirarchy here. How’s this for levels 2 and 3…
You are a geek if:
1 You know how to make a USB connector.
2 You are able to syncronize two different calender formats (as above)
3 You don’t care a jot for Facebook.
4 Likewise. You’re far too busy to watch TV.
5 You know the Second name of Linux’s founder.
6 You know the computer meanings and origins of bug, worm, mouse, Trojan horse, and gnu.
7 You know how to set up a corporate network, and hack a home one.
8 People pay you when they have trouble with their computer.
9 You have a home theatre and a database of CDs and DVD’s.
10 [Your suggestion here]
And you are a hacker if:
1 You think up acronyms like U___ S___ B___.
2 You reprogram the cellphone calender format to fit in with the computer one.
3 You know the founder of Facebook and want to shoot him (or write killer anti-facebook viruses at least).
4 You webbrowse ON your TV.
5 You share a name with Charlie Brown’s Friend, or with a second cousin of the door.
6 See 1 for Bug, Worm, Mouse, Horse, and Gnu.
7 You know how to set up the Intenet, and hack a corporate network.
8 You shove people out of the way to get access to their sick computer.
9 You don’t have a home theatre, but have a sub-organized database to find your way around shelf upon shelf of thick not-even-dusty computer manuals.
10 [Your suggestion here]
Whoops, forgot about #10
Normal human: You consider your computer a flashing, beeping, box which you use but don’t much like.
N: You consider your computer like a faithful old butler, ready to serve but not much emotion.
G: You consider your computer like a faithful hound, with memories, comfort, fun, and a fair amount of training.
H: You consider your computer like the wife you never actually got around to finding.
# You know what USB stands for.
Universal Serial Bus (+1)
# You are able to synchronize the calendar on your computer and your cell phone.
No, but I can on my Internet Tablet (Nokia N800).
# You know the name of the founder of Facebook.
Mr. Zuckerberg (+1)
# You web browse while watching TV.
Don’t watch TV
# You know that Linux isn’t the name of Charlie Brown’s friend.
I don’t know the name of Charlie Brown’s friend, but I’m on a Linux computer now.
# You’re reading my blog.
True. (+1)
# You know how to set up a home network.
I’ve done it. (+1)
# People ask you for help when they’re having trouble with their computer.
Too often (+1)
# You have a home theater and you’ve organized and labeled your CDs and DVDs.
I don’t do TV or movies. No need for a home theatre.
Landing me at:
4-6 You are normally nerdy. Enough to function in a nerdy age. Good job.
Oh well.