Previous post: Advice for Newlyweds: Part 1
Milady,
I got some advice for you. As a man talking to you plain truth. Trinity. Is. Hot. That’s what guys think. I know you don’t believe me. I know you think she looks like a guy with bumps. But maybe that’s the point. You swoon over all these chick flicks with girls dressed in corsets and ribbons. But your future man is looking for a gal who can do the scorpion kick. The marriage counselor calls this a “recreational companion.” Your dude wants a partner in crime who can share in his adventure. Think Bonnie and Clyde.
Turn with me to Pride and Prejudice and you see quite a different image. A gal that runs when she hears a man coming, finds a chair and pretends like she’s doing needlepoint. A gal that is interested in income rather than adventure. Is that who you want to be? Or would you rather be flying down a highway on a motorcycle shooting a high powered gun while pursued by crazed robots?
I question Pride and Prejudice and the unjust economic system that it whitewashes. While the privileged, the prideful and the prejudicial are prancing in the parlor, the unwashed must serve them in obscurity and misery. All those toffs are enjoying their leisure on the back of a working class that suffers so that inbred crybabies can boo-hoo their pampified existence. Let me tell you what. Trinity would throw a wrench through that parlor window. She’d scorpion-kick Darcy and set the oppressed free.
So, with that in mind here’s some advice for the newlywed bride.
You’re not Lizzy. You’re Trinity.
- That man ain’t your savior. He’s your partner in the revolution.
- The house is yours. But the garage is his. Go see what he’s doing out there.
- You don’t have to look like Carrie-Anne Moss. You just have to believe he’s The One.
- Share films. Agree to watch his guns & cars movie if he’ll watch your chick flick.
- White lace is for the wedding. Now get yourself something in black.
This post makes reference to: The Matrix and Pride and Prejudice
Now you’ve gone and done it — you’ve actually inserted a substantive comment amidst all the hogwash.
It is true that Austen was no Charles Dickens or George Eliot (although, it must be said, Austen’s work also benefits from absence of the lugubrious excesses of Dickens, Eliot and their fellow travelers).
Nonetheless, your criticism seems wildly unfair — what was Sense and Sensibility about except class conflict, wealth, and the tyranny of materialism in marriage arrangements?
Hogwash is right. Hilary didn’t agree with a thing in this post. Which just shows you how little we’ve learned in 16 years of marriage.
Now you see, I was wrong again. I figured you were just blogging in the elevator here, and anyone who didn’t like the smell should just laugh. But you appear to have had some sincere discussions about the subject.
The “wife as buddy” fantasy (and The Matrix adds the porn fantasy component to the picture) probably does appeal to the overwhelming majority of men. Nascar guys want a wife that knows Junior, swills Bud, and dresses appropriately for the event. Revolutionaries want a co-conspirator.
I am going just postulate that the buddy-marriage can happen, but it’s rarely successful. The lion’s share of buddy-marriages are failed attempts by the man to impose his fascinations on someone who is both wired and trained not to care about them.
As a matter of fact, Les Miserables addresses this discussion pretty directly. A lot of guys figure Marius missed out on a deal when he rejected Eponine for Cossette. Eponine was utterly adoring, and she was at the barricades, ready to throw down. She was only there to be near Marius, but that’s not the point. Few of us guys are really attracted to Eponine, and I doubt many of us would ask Trinity out, either.
Back to my point. If I’m right, and buddy marriages are anomolies, then what does that say about the church’s responsibility to her Bridegroom. Perhaps, Jesus doesn’t expect us to team with Him in doing the hard work of saving the world. Perhaps, He doesn’t want us to tread in the winepress or bare the right arm of our power. Maybe we are supposed to faithfully accompany Him and care for His family.
I do know The Matrix would have made more sense if Trinity were a guy, and been more poignant, too.