Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail, and with his odd diet he suffered from bad breath… This made him a super callused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.
A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."
What’s the difference between Santa and the Lone Ranger? They both have beards except for the Lone Ranger.
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper says, "You have a drink named Jeff?"
Person 1: Knock knock! Person 2: Who’s there? Person 1: The interrupting chicken. Person 2: The interrupting chi– Person 1: BOK BOK BOK BOK!
Two fish were sitting in a tank. One says to the other, "How do you drive this thing?"
There was a man who entered a local paper’s pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff ba dum tssh
what is red and smells like blue paint? red paint
An Anteater walks into a bar. The bartender asks him is he wants a beer, and the anteater responds, "Nooooooooooooooooooooo.." The bartender says, "Okay, would you like a water?" "Nooooooooooooooooo…" Finally, the bartender says, "Hey buddy, what’s with the long nose?"
Lingamish is the blog of David Ker, a media access specialist and member of Wycliffe Bible Translators working in Africa with SIL Mozambique. Opinions expressed on this blog are my own and do not represent the organizations with which I work.
What’s an ancient Grecian urn? Usually a denarius per day unless the boss was being generous.
72. Q: What’s small, black, stands on a meadow and moves quickly in a circle?
A: Hammer-throwing mole.
73. Q: What’s small, black, on a meadow and moves quickly in a triangle?
A: Same mole who dropped the hammer on his toe.
74. Q: How do hippos hide in a cherry tree?
A: Painting their toenails red.
75. Q: How does a hippo get out of a cherry tree again?
A: Sitting on a leaf and waiting for the fall.
76. Q: How do you fit four hippos into an Austin Mini?
A: Two in front, two in the back.
77. Q: How do you know, four hippos are visiting the icecream parlour?
A: The Austin Mini is parked outside.
78. Q: How do you know a hippo has been in your fridge?
A: Toemarks in the butter.
79. Q: Why do so many people consider the chairman of the Chinese Communist Party to be omniscient?
A: [hu:] knows …
80. There was a young man from Peru
whose limericks stopped at line two.
(nicked from http://wiesenraute.de/vhmlh/ – scroll down to the archive which contains English stuff too)
Q: What did one gosling say to the other when they saw the goose that laid a golden egg?
A: Look at the orange marmalade!
Wonderful! Oliver, you just one the first Lingy of 2010 for keeping this going.
Woohoo! I got mesel’ a Lingy!
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[Now I only need a blog to display it on